22/04/2013


Guess what? I was really sad last night.
No, we didn't fight, we just talked about something that I hate a lot.
For your information, I'm the one who start it first. Yes, again.
Is it I asking for too much? Or you're just protecting her?
I know you won't. But can you please stand at my side to feel how I feel?
It's not I get jealous because of that.
Do you remember, before we couple how long you get over her?
Remember you told me how much you loved her and so on?
How can I not feeling insecure? I do trust you.
It's always the same fucking problem ruin our day & night.
I talked to someone about this last night.
That person told me a lot of things, and now I know what I should do.
I know she is not gonna effect both of us, but I still can't...
Well, I think I should learn not to care too much next time.
Babe, I really do love you a lot a lot.
I repeated that like a million times.
Dumb me, I feel so stress until I cried so badly last night.
I don't know why... Forgive me for being selfish.
I love you.

06/04/2013

Beginning of April is bad, really really bad.

He's suffering because of some family problems.

The second time I see you cry babe.

I really want to hug you so badly when I see your tears falling down.

Can see you in middle of the night is the best thing ever.

But is not like this. Should be like you came my house alone with ice-cream or some foods.

Smile at me and call the nicknames that you gave to me.

I know this is not what you want, be strong please.

I'm here for you no matter what. I swear.

Thanks for letting me sharing your happiness, sadness and every single thing in your life.

You know I won't leave you right? Whenever you need me, I'm here.

Thanks for promising me last night, those promises I remember forever.

Sorry for making you feel sad because you think that I don't trust you.

No, I trust you with all my soul.

I promise I won't suspect you anymore because you promised you'll tell me everything.

I know you're strong enough but if you need hugs or someone to talk to.

I'm here for you, forever.
Babe, I don't know why I feel something wrong between us.
Is it I think too much or really something wrong?
I feel so empty right now..... I feel like crying, kill me.

30/03/2013

Last day of March, well today is not a good day.

Yea, we having a terrible argument.

This is not the first time. It happens again and again.

I'm really sorry I always think a lot.

Sometimes I freaking hate myself because I'm feeling insecure whenever you mention her name.

I read back our old conversation just now.

I can feel how much you loved her last time, how much you cared.

You'll get jealous when she gets new boyfriend.

I never know that you'll get jealous of anything, like seriously.

You didn't tell or you'll only get jealous from her?

I always think that, am I good enough for you?

I wanted to change, I try my best to be what you wanted.

But I don't know whether I did my best or not.

Just hope you know how much effort I put in our relationship.

It's really grateful that I have a really good bf in my life.

Although sometimes you did something that really pissed me off and you don't know what's going on.

Although sometimes you said something that really hurt but you think that's normal.

Although sometimes you think I'm over thinking but you don't know how it feels like.

But that's alright for me, really.

Because I did the same thing, nobody is perfect.

Just like us, we made mistakes but we learnt from it.

Sorry for always disappointed you and let you suffer with me.

I really do trust you, really I do.

You know girls right? Get jealous because of small matter.

You know me well too right? I get moody just for a while so no worries.

Thanks for tolerating my pms-ness and being my side whenever I need you.

The most important thing, thanks for loving 7 months.

I know no matter what this relationship is not gonna end.

I'm staying with you no matter what, I don't care if you don't love me one day.

I'm gonna stick to you until you love me back.

But I know this is not gonna happen to us, I know you love me a lot.

Just like me, love you with all my heart and soul.

Forgive me? Because I know sometimes I'm being so rude to you.

I just can't control myself. I don't know why.

I wanted to talk nicely but my heart don't let me do it.

I hate it so much. I know it hurts you a lot.

I'm sorry okay babe? I promise you, there's no more next time.

I remember we don't argue for weeks before this argument right?

We can do it. No argument for months, if possible.

Now I'll stand at your side and feel how you feel, just like how you did.

Babe, thanks for everything you did to me.

Really appreciate a lot, I don't know how to talk to you at whatsapp.

Because I scare I'll start another argument again.

You can't take back what you've said just now.

I'm your last, you're my last.

You're not shared, they can't have any single part of you.

No matter what I'm your girl, forever your girl okay?

Good night babe, sleep tight and candy dreams.

Iloveyou, yes you ChiewHengJun.